10. Wooo, free time... Hang on, I'm depressed!

Bugbears.

2 things about them:

1. Google just informed me that it’s only one word, and not two. Mind blown.

2. We all have them, right!? Little things that cause us unnecessary agg.

A few of mine include:

• Littering. Just bin it ya filthy bastards!

• People talking too loudly on the phone. Keep it down ya filthy bastards!

• People being late. Hurry up ya filthy bastards!

• And the excuse “I’m too busy to do that”. Ya bastards!

I never fail to get irritated by that excuse. Mainly, because it’s a load of nonsense.

If something’s important enough, we’ll always make time to do it. “I’m too busy” is often just a lazy cop out. It essentially means “that’s not a priority for me”.

However, despite it being a rubbish excuse, it’s a very effective one.

We hear people use it all the time, with great success, to get out of doing stuff they don’t want to.

As such, like anything that’s effective, we can learn a thing or two from it.

So let’s do exactly that! And start with a question...

What’s something that none of us want?

(No, not to continue reading this blog you cheeky bugger!!)

The answer I was thinking of was: to be plagued by worry, anxiety and obsessive thoughts. That’s never fun.

So, can we lean on that classic excuse of “I’m too busy” to try and tackle these joys?

Is it possible to be “too busy” to be plagued by such issues?

During the Second World War, Winston Churchill was asked if he was worried about his enormous responsibilities. Referring to his 18 hour working days, the Prime Minister responded “Worry!? I have no time to worry!”.

Of course, I’m not advocating 18 working hour days, or the world going to war again, but the principle behind the statement makes sense.

Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw followed up with a similar idea, stating that “The secret to being miserable is having the time to contemplate whether you’re happy or not. The cure for it is occupation”.

Basically, when we’ve got too much spare time, our minds are let loose and free to wander… and that’s always dangerous!

Often, we can find our thoughts drifting off to all sorts of anxious, doubtful and generally destructive places.

(Shout out to the overthinkers in da house, who I’m sure will be able to particularly resonate with Mr Shaw’s statement).

It’s strange when this happens, and how often it can.

We can find ourselves counting down the minutes to the weekend, or craving a bit of a chilled out vibe... only for it to arrive, and this downtime being the exact environment to spark an onslaught of self-criticism and existential panic.

Not exactly the vibe we were after.

What makes this even worse is that as an escape from the day-to-day stresses of life, our glorious free time is when we’re ‘supposed’ to be happy.

Being stressed out at work is one thing, but we could really do without thoughts like “am I getting anywhere in life?”, “what’s the point of it all?”, and “will I actually ever be able to go to the pub again?” invading our downtime.

This is something I’m sure a fair amount of us have, and still are, experiencing first hand during lockdown. The extra free time is great, though excessive amounts… not so much.

So, can we combat these thoughts with a healthy dose of busyness? The following examples would suggest that it can be an effective approach...

• As we saw in the unreal Netflix docco The Last Dance, to deal with his father’s death, Steve Kerr threw himself into playing basketball whenever he could, going on to become a Chicago Bulls legend, and one of the greatest coaches in NBA history.

• After losing his closest friend, British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson committed his life to writing, stating “I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair.”

• Osa Johnson is one of the most famous explorers in history. On one of her expeditions, she was involved in a plane crash. Incredibly lucky to survive, she was told by doctors she wouldn’t leave her hospital bed again... however, within 3 months, she was lecturing from a wheelchair (and went on to give hundreds more), to ensure she would "have no time for worry and sorrow”.

No doubt you’ll be able to think of a load more examples. And not just sports stars, writers and explorers, but at a personal level as well. Times when getting stuck into some sort of activity or pastime has helped deal with a traumatic event, or just more regular feelings of 'meh'.

Of course, worth saying that there’s a balance here. Excessive busyness can be incredibly stressful.

And even worse, it can lead us to being one of those people who spend their lives telling others how busy they are... we don't want to be one of those people!

However, as the above examples suggest, jumping head first into a new or existing hobby, project or goal to help deal with some sort of emotional shithousery can be massively beneficial, and help shift our focus away from destructive thoughts, to something a bit more constructive.

And maybe, just maybe, add some credibility back to that excuse of “I’m too busy”...