27. A chat with a 99-year-old

I love the Notes app on the iPhone.

I use it quite a bit. None of the fancy features of course, just for writing down all the riveting things in life such as shopping lists, to-do lists, reminders, films that I want to watch, podcasts I want to listen to, and so forth.

I also use it to write down things that I see, read or hear that particularly resonate with me. Things that I find interesting, inspiring, positive, or generally beneficial to try (try being the key word) and remember.

By way of example, the last thing I wrote down was “They say that true Hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been” (which, FYI, was from Joe Rogan's podcast with Chris Williamson). Deep stuff, right!?

This is something I started doing in 2015, when I was going through a prolonged and particularly aggy phase of feeling down. Self-helpy type content can (rightly at times) get a bad rap, but during this period I found it to definitely have a predominantly positive effect.

It helped with a whole host of things from outlook on life to day-to-day motivation, and attitude towards certain issues and general coping mechanisms.

I then just got into a bit of a habit with it, and have been making a note of things that resonate with me ever since.

And last month, when on a train from London to Banbury, I randomly decided to read through a load of these old notes. Whilst doing this, I noticed a few things:

1. How bad my memory is (I don’t remember about 90% of the things I wrote)

2. That it made the infamous High Wycombe to Bicester North leg of the journey absolutely zoom past

3. Interestingly(ish), there were quite a few quotes and ideas from people who happened to be in the later stages of life.

This last point gave me an idea for a blog post.

This idea, which admittedly is basically me just shamelessly plagiarising other people, was to collate and write down some of these thoughts and quotes. 5 thoughts (seemed like a nice, and not overly exhaustive number) that I felt were particularly interesting, inspiring and generally useful.

So without further ado, let’s meet these wonderful people.

To kick us off, say hello to Nadine Stair, an 85-year-old woman from Louisville, Kentucky.

When asked "How would you have lived your life differently if you had the chance?", she responded with the following:

"If I had my life to live over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than I’ve been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances, I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who was sensible and sane, hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments. If I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else—just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had to live my life over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies."

I love that. This is something I got from one of James Clear’s exceptional weekly 3-2-1 newsletters, which I couldn’t recommend more highly to subscribe to.

And whilst on the subject of the 3-2-1 newsletter, the next quote is something that I nicked from there too.

This time, it’s a quote from James Clear’s own grandmother, who, each day as her children walked out the door to school, would share the following: “Put a smile on your face for the whole human race”.

I don’t just like that because it’s a nice rhyme, but because I also believe in the power of a smile.

:)

Staying in the US, next up we have the American actress Betty White who sadly passed away last year, just before her 100th birthday. She had a refreshing outlook towards something that a lot of us fear. Ageing.

"You don't fall off the planet once you pass a given age. You don't lose any of your sense of humour, any of your zest for life or your lust for life, if you will. If you were a dull young person, you're going to be a dull old person, but I don't think just because the years go by that you have to be that way."

This can be quite a reassuring thing to remember. No matter what age we are, some of the best days of our lives are still ahead of us.

Now, returning to this side of the Atlantic, with a trip to Ireland. A big shout out to the below video that I came across on YouTube a few years ago. It’s one of those videos that, despite my questionable memory, always stuck with me. It’s simply two people sharing thoughts and outlooks on life. Though one’s a 7-year-old, and one’s 64. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqSxjmvXzzY

The contrast between the innocence of the child and the wisdom of the older man is really moving, and generally lovely to see. I found myself getting quite emotional watching it. I think it depicts the passage of time that we’re all faced with in a really simple and beautiful way.

One of my favourite bits is when the older gent says “the great thing about being young is that you have more time to do things”.

Even though fairly self-evident, I’ve always found that thought to be quite powerful. It’s something that I think about a lot, as I find it can provide a real sense of motivation to get stuff done.

Instead of retrospectively regretting not doing things when we had the time, energy and ability to do it, just do them now whilst we can. I think that that’s a thought that can be applied to any area of life.

Finally, a trip home. Literally. I thought hey, why don’t I ask my own parents (and not just because it gives them something different to discuss than the weekly shopping list)?

I posed the same question Nadine Stair was asked earlier “How would you have lived your life differently if you had the chance?"

Rupert regretted a few golf shots and a couple of chess moves, but then burst into singing My Way by Frank Sinatra. It wasn't just impressive lyrical knowledge from big Rupes, but I think there is a valuable lesson in there too. As much as we can and within reason, don't be deterred by the inevitable thoughts and opinions of other people (judgmental pricks that we are), and just live life our way.

My Mum didn't start singing, but was focused more on the appreciation for the people close to us. Elaine said "Overall, I have always been a believer in trusting one's gut instinct, and I think this is an effective both in day-to-day decisions and more major decisions. Also, one piece of advice I would give with hindsight is to appreciate those people around you and really talk to them, while you can, whether to a family member, friend, colleague, or someone who is lonely and just needs a chat. This can be difficult when most people lead very busy lives, but it is so important. My dad died three years ago and there is so much I would have liked to say to him, but I will never get that opportunity now."

Appreciate those whilst we can. I think that's a really important thing to try remember.

So, there we have it. Some life lessons, interesting thoughts, and things we can learn from people who have lived, and are living, a full life. And have that wonderful vantage point of hindsight.

A big thank you to Nadine, James, Rita, Betty, the two Irish chaps, Elaine and Rupert for the beautiful words.

Here’s to growing up.