4. Bonjour to the Stoics - Part 1

Stoicism. Where to bloody start!?

Well, firstly with a big shout out to this particular school of thought, as it’s heavily influenced a significant amount of the content on this site.

No, it’s not a dog photography studio, but a philosophy focused around happiness, resilience and managing negative emotion.

It’s possible that you’ve heard of it, because a) it’s made somewhat of a spectacular return to mainstream culture in recent years and b) because it’s excellent. So excellent in fact that I’ll be covering my main Stoic takeaways over 2 separate blog posts!

But before we get too excited, welcome to part 1.

For a super quick trip back in time, if we rewind a couple of millennia, Stoicism was the dominant school of Philosophy. And so it remained for around 500 years until Christianity took over, and in doing so, incorporated many of its principles.

So in short, it has a pretty rich and lengthy heritage, and has shaped many of today’s societal, cultural and ethical values.

Now, with that riveting history lesson over, let’s look at how, and why, it’s so popular. In a nutshell, it's largely due to the key Stoic thoughts being fairly simple to both understand and implement, making it incredibly effective.

Which is why, similar to the sports socks and sliders combo, it’s made a bit of a comeback in recent times.

(Image stolen off Google by the way)

And similar to socks and sliders coming in pairs, there are 2 key Stoic ideas that I’ve found to be immensely powerful. Number 1 below, Number 2 to follow in the next week or so.

Idea Number 1:

We should aim to base our emotional wellbeing on things that we can control.

Of which there are only two; our thoughts and our actions.

Good stuff.

Basing our ‘emotional wellbeing’ on things we can control is certainly easier said than done, but it makes sense. Simply, if we do this, then we are by definition, more in control of how we feel.

And if we don’t, then our mood and general outlook is likely to be pretty volatile and unpredictable - as is the nature of things we can’t control.

So, in order to live in a slightly more tranquil and in a slightly less anxious state, more of the former is encouraged, and less of the latter. To quote a Stoic BNOC, Marcus Aurelius, “There is never any need to get worked up about things you cannot control”.

Nice. However, this also presents a slight issue.

Unfortunately, us humans have an exceptional talent for doing exactly the opposite of that, and placing a large portion of our emotional wellbeing on things that are fundamentally out of our control - how many likes we get on social media, what our colleagues think of us, that stupid thing we said last week, and not constantly looking like a Men's/Women's Health cover model.

The Stoics would argue that this is both a waste of time and a waste of energy. And, if they weren't such a tranquil bunch, would probably give us a slap around the head for freaking out about this kinda stuff.

On that point, let's have a look at a few more classic modern-day examples of things that can cause us unnecessary stress, anxiety and general agg, and see what our Stoic predecessors may conclude on these matters:

1) What someone thinks of us

• What we can control: Being nice to someone.

• What we can’t control: How this person decides to react.

• Stoic conclusion: If they like us then cool, if they don’t like us then also cool.

2) Someone being rude

• What we can control: Politely opening the door for someone.

• What we can’t control: Whether or not they acknowledge it.

• Stoic conclusion: Either way, fine. And no need for us to shout “you’re welcome you bastard!” if they don’t say thanks.

3) Losing weight

• What we can control: What we eat and how much we exercise.

• What we can’t control: How our individual bodies respond to that.

• Stoic conclusion: Some people may lose 10kgs, some people may lose 1kg. Both are good, just crack on.

4) Getting a promotion

• What we can control: Being proactive and working more efficiently.

• What we can’t control: Whether or not our boss decides to promote us.

• Stoic conclusion: Don’t get het up about the outcome, just focus on doing a good job.

The list goes on, but the principle remains the same: our thoughts and our actions are the only things we can ever control, and should therefore be the main things we concern ourselves with. Everything else, nope.

This ‘everything else’ is what - if aiming to live a more tranquil life - the Stoics would encourage us to place a very limited amount of our emotional worth, and general wellbeing on.

And of course, if we can do so by wearing socks and sliders, then all the better.