6. He's getting a round in!?!?

Let’s imagine, for one very cheeky moment, that we’re on a night out... and it’s a biggie!!!

Now let’s wave another magic wand, and the person we’re with offers to get a round in (that would have to be a bloody powerful wand if you have mates like mine).

This person offers to get us a pint. Nice. And when they return from the bar, not only do they have a pint, but they’re also carrying a nice big Aperol Spritz for us. Winner!

It doesn’t stop there. Suddenly, they’re offering to get the next round... and this time, they say they’re going to get us a pint, an Aperol, a Jäger Bomb, an Espresso Martini and a Piña Colada (with an umbrella and slice of pineapple). Lovely stuff, what a night out this is!

However, when they come back, they’ve just got a pint and an Aperol again.

I mean, we take it... but in contrast to the first round where we were delighted, this time we're a bit disappointed - even though in both cases, we got the exact same drinks.

Clearly, as we received the same thing each time, the difference in how we’re feeling isn’t due to what we actually got. Instead, it’s due to our expectations of what we thought we were going to get.

And this boozy scenario can provide quite an interesting insight into managing our mental wellbeing, and the importance of the relationship between expectation and reality.

When we think of people with low expectations, we tend to see this as quite a negative thing. However, as the above sesh demonstrates, having lower expectations can actually assist in terms of living a slightly more content life. Basically because we’re more likely to go around being pleasantly surprised, as opposed to being unpleasantly disappointed.

Staying with the night out theme, we can see this particular snippet of wisdom play out in all its glory. We’ve all had nights out that have been slightly disappointing because we’ve built them up in our heads. And conversely, “spontaneous nights out are the best” largely due to us having no prior expectation of the debauchery that's about to unfold.

Now, because I love both a quote and an equation, I very much enjoy the following bit of chat from Tom Maggliozzi that sums up this idea:

"Happiness equals Reality minus Expectations."

In short, a lot of our frustrations can come from having overly high expectations.

This is something that I'd imagine is especially prevalent in the lives of ambitious people. If we’re ambitious, it’s a given that we’re going to feel like a bit of a failure every now and then, as our lofty goals, aspirations and ambitions will naturally lead to moments where we feel like we aren’t living up to them.

And yes, by "I'd imagine", I do mean "from my own personal experience" :)

Of course, I’m not suggesting that we should constantly mope around thinking everything is always going to be terrible, that wouldn't be good.

However, whereas we may potentially think that we're being the most optimistic, radiant and positive person in the world by believing that everything is always going to be amazing, there’s a chance this could actually be counterproductive.

Instead, this could be more likely to set us up for disappointment when life inevitably doesn’t hit these overinflated expectations. On this point, when reflecting upon his diagnosis of motor neurone disease, the great Stephen Hawking said “my expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21… everything since then has been a bonus”.

So, it sounds like a bit of an oxymoron (good word that!), but as opposed to having a blindly optimistic outlook on the world (which, to be fair, probably isn't something too many of us have at the moment!), there may be benefits in opting for a degree of strategic pessimism. This could help to narrow that gap between our expectations and reality, and in turn, allow us to live ever so slightly more contently.

You know, there's a chance we may have a mare at work, there's a chance we may not get a reply to our hilarious Whatsapp message, and there's a chance Nando's might be out of garlic bread.

And if on a night out with my pals, there's more than a chance of a round not being bought.