15. Gooooooal(s)

Goals. Goal setting. SMART goals. Short-term goals. Long-term goals. #squadgoalz. You name it, as a society, we love it. We’re always encouraged to set the bloody things, and strive relentlessly to achieve them.

Despite my rather cynical tone, I don’t actually think this is necessarily a bad thing. A good old goal can give us a bit of direction, a bit of purpose, and a bit of a kick up the arse. And that can certainly be useful.

So, what are the usual type of goals that we tend to set for ourselves?

• Lose 5kg of fat

• Run a 5k in under 25 mins

• Get a promotion

• Have kids by the time we’re 30

All sound about right.

We’ve probably all made some sort of variation of one of these. I mean, just the 5k time alone, 98% of Insta were swinging their d...ecent times about last year.

Being the overly competitive shitebags that we are, our eyes tend to light up at numerically driven goals like this. As there’s a specific outcome to aim towards, we know whether or not we’ve “completed it, mate”.

Or at least, we have a clear indication as to whether we’re actually making any sort of progress. And as there’s basically nothing more motivating than getting better at something, that can be a good thing.

They’re also sexy. We like a “man loses 50kg” type headline, it’s impressive. Definitely more so than a “man goes into a chicken and asparagus fuelled calorie deficit for 3 months”, which just sounds a bit shit.

So, yes, we love a goal.

However, despite their obvious benefits, they can also pose a bit of a problem.

Whilst these specific outcome-focused goals can be motivating, they also have the high potential to leave us feeling pretty disappointed, and generally miffed.

Remember the Stoics? Course you do! In Blogs 4 and 5 they had the following words of wisdom for us: for a more emotionally tranquil life, we should aim to focus our efforts on the things we can control, of which there are only two; our thoughts and our actions.

Appreciate that sounds a bit wishy-washy, but also, an emotionally tranquil life? Sign me up!

The issue is that outcome goals, such as the above promotion or a 5kg weight loss, are, although within our influence, fundamentally out of our control.

We can exercise more and we can work harder, but we can’t demand that our body suddenly loses 5kg, or that our boss promotes us. Such goals would therefore not just have our Stoic ancestors spinning in their graves, but they can also be a recipe for frustration, disappointment and self-criticism.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll already spend enough of your life in a pit of disappointment and self-criticism, so it may not always be helpful to have pursuits that can add further fuel to that particular fire.

On top of this, due to their sexier and more societally glorified nature, they can easily become a bit of an obsession. As James Clear mentions, although this does have its upsides, we can also fall into the trap of delaying all sense of accomplishment and happiness until the day that we achieve them.

We’ve probably all been there; worked our arses off for months towards some sort of outcome, only to be met by the briefest and most underwhelming sense of satisfaction once we’d achieved what we set out to do.

Of course, though not always the case, a momentary sense of happiness doesn’t feel like the best payoff for months of graft.

So, is there another type of goal that can be used alongside, and in balance, with outcome goals, to offset some of the downsides?

You bloody bet there is! And once again, it’s the Stoics who have an answer for us; process goals.

Whereas outcome goals are out of our control (as you’re probably bored of reading by now), the actual doing (as opposed to the result of the doing) is very much within our control.

Whilst we can’t tell our bodies to suddenly lose 5kg, we can certainly put down our third bag of minstrels.

This shift of focus to what's within our control can be a bit of a winner. When we do this, there’s no need for us to delay our happiness for those grand, yet fleeting moments of achievement. Instead, we can take more enjoyment in the day-to-day, without the burden of specific targets or outcomes.

And what a burden they can be. You know how it is; we go for a run one week, and on our next outing, we’re somehow slower!? It’s enough to make us want to return our Garmin, and lob our trainers into the sea.

In contrast, more emphasis on the actual effort itself (as opposed to the outcome of our efforts) would mean that we’d have just been pleased to have gotten off our arses, and out for a run.

As Professor Jordan Peterson says, “Perhaps happiness is found in the journey uphill, and not in the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak”.

Outcome goals are good. They’re sexy, and we like sexy.

However, despite society’s slight obsession with them, they do come with their downsides. And a slight shift in focus away from these uncontrollable outcomes can help relieve some of the pain points, whilst still allowing us to achieve our lofty ambitions.

And this may mean slightly less frustration with ourselves, and that our trainers avoid a trip to the bottom of the ocean.